You're on your own
| ssue: | 7, June 1999 |
Page: | 4-5 |
|
Abstract: |
The domestic violence act |
| Keywords: | Children, family, Domestic Violence Act. |
Jack first became aware that something is not quite right, when
his
daughter Monica* had to be hospitalised at about 6 weeks of age because
of undernourishment. Even though his parents had voiced some concerns
to him about his wife's, Helen's*, treatment of their daughter, he had
thought Monica was just "slight" like himself and her mother.
After assessment, however, the doctors told him they suspected
child
neglect. Monica was released after 10 days, after a routine of formula
feeding had been established, and on condition that she be presented
weekly. Monica's mother was referred to an early intervention programme
as she was "a mother not enjoying her baby", according to the social
worker appointed to visit her regularly.
But hospital appointments weren't kept and Monica's mother refused to
let the social worker in on several occasions.
Jack was working fulltime at this time and "often when I arrived home
from work Helen would be in a terrible mood. A common complaint was
that I had woken Monica by closing the front door in the mornings
disturbing Helen's sleep
"When Monica was fed solids, Helen would usually yell "open your f**
mouth" and a lot of other obscenities."
Jack and Helen split up when Monica was about 2 years old. Shortly
after, Helen rung his mother telling her "I can't cope. Monica won't
stop crying, I want to strangle the bitch" - and herself. At this stage
Jack was becoming seriously concerned for Monica's safety and saw a
solicitor for legal advice on how to best protect Monica. He presented
a consistent story, backed up by statements by his mother, brother and
father about serious emotional abuse they all had witnessed
independently.
"At first I felt I was believed, and something will be done
about
the situation now." Jack believed the only way of protecting his
daughter is to obtain full custody of her.
But despite hearing consistent stories of child abuse witnessed
independently by several different persons, his lawyer did not tell him
about the Domestic Violence Act and the possibility of taking out a
Protection Order. This would have instantly protected Monica and would
have left her in his care at least for the time being. Instead she
recommended that Jack "retain Monica in his care when she staid with me
next and use the police to prevent Helen from trespassing."
Jack knew of "Non-Molestation Orders" as Protection Orders used to be
called, because a cousin of his had taken one out on her husband a few
years before, "and on very good grounds". But despite having been
subjected to physical abuse by Helen himself he did not believe an
Order would apply in his situation, and he was worried that it may
remove him from his child rather than the child from the mother, which
was his main concern. Noone had told him about the possibility of
taking out a Protection Order on behalf of his daughter.
During the following custody proceedings Monica disclosed
physical
abuse by her mother against her to a child psychologist, who believed
her story. In his report to the court he did not detail the disclosures
- he was not directed by the court to comment on this - but said
that his interviews with the child confirmed the story put forward by
Jack.
But Jack's and Monica's story does not have a happy ending.
In disputed custody cases, the Family Court appoints a lawyer
representing the interests of the child, which normally becomes the
most influential person during the proceedings. When this Counsel for
Child was appointed, Jack's lawyer retracted and no longer supported
his application for full custody.
"The Counsel for Child was not interested in my side of the story",
says Jack. " She said to me: 'The best place for a child is with it's
mother, even if the mother is abusive'." When challenged on it she
replied that she "wouldn't condone [the mother's] behaviour", but,
according to Jack, she also said "I'm not prepared to consider [the
abuse]. I want you to return her to the mother now!"
The Counsel for Child talked to Helen's family, but refused to talk to
Jack's. When she came to interview Jack, who was at the time living
with Monica at his mother's house, she insisted for her, and his
father, who was also present for support, to leave the room. When she
found Monica happy and settled, she told Jack that Monica
"wouldn't be happy if she didn't have a good mother". In her report she
recommended full custody for Helen, despite Helen's well documented
history of mental health problems.
Jack's lawyer was getting cold feet. She filed sworn statements of
Jack's family, outlining the abuse against Monica, only two hours
before the hearing, and Jack believes she did so full knowing that they
would be rejected as evidence because they were put in so late, leaving
Helen's solicitor no time to respond.
"Several other prominent solicitors in Christchurch were surprised when
I told them of the late filing of affidavits and assured me any
solicitor knows a judge would not allow them.", Jack says. During the
hearing, when Jack's mother, father and brother were waiting outside
ready to testify, his solicitor turned around to Jack and told him:
"You're on your own".
Only after the psychologist's report came in, supporting the view that
serious abuse was, indeed, going on, Counsel for Child changed her
position and supported shared custody with equal access of both parents.
Monica is now four years old and Jack has given up any hope that the
New Zealand justice system would act to protect his daughter. He has
gained shared custody and hopes that "the time with me will balance out
any negative influence from her mother".
This is all they can hope for.
* All names and identifying
details have been changed in this story
Supervised
Access: A single Dad works towards
better Supervised Access.
Protection
order: It's a powerful tool in the hands
of an abusive spouse.
When
things turn sour: Not all parents can
work out their differences without the Domestic Violence Act.